My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
