The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Randomize
