i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize