mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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