at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
