Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
PS: I just woke up from my shower
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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