Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
