we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
