Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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