How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
