I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
