these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
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