I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
