There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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