I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.