At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
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I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
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I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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