As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.