my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.