Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will