the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Randomize
