did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
