'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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