Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
