hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
