Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
