rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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