I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Randomize
