Im at strip club and am horny
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
