So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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