i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize