If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize