Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
