i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
