I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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