Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
How naked do you want me to be?
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