You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
