it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Randomize
