I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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