I just saw a hot homeless man
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
