your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
