im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
