Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
