my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
