Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
