'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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