just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
