i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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