best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
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