I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
