I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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