nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
