Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize