I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
