D3 body, D1 cock
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
im on a boat
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