I got chris browned last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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