What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
