this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize