And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
