I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
