the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
