I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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