i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Randomize
